life. unplugged. reconected.

We'll start by stating the obvious: I have ben MIA from my blog for some time (over four months). Now lets get over it and reflect, yeah?

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Summer. It wasn't a girl, or 500 days of a non-love story. But it was eventful, and thinking back on it leaves questions lingering in the chroneology. There were lots of parties, some drugs, sex, and alchohol... and the inevitable drama which ensues with socialization. I can't count how many disagreements I got into over the summer... but the blood does boil, they say. Somehow I always managed to walk away from the flames with a smile scraped across my face like Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knihgt"- except I survived the Ambien.

Speaking of Ambien- I was proactive in releasing myself from dependency. Some days are better than others, and the same story goes for the nights. The first week was the easiest. My body was generous in keeping the pattern of a normal nights sleep. The third the worst. I was in withdrawl, the baggs under my eyes dragged across my sunkissed cheekbones. Since then, it varries- and I have occasionally given in to the small blue tablets. But compared to popping them every night, I'd consider that progress rather than relapse.

Up in through even the start of September, I was hardly at my Philadelphia abode. Always traveling. working hard. playing harder. Some of my friends forgot I didn't live in New Jersey.

But even with my self-centered perspective on time management- making memories and seducing adventure- on a very serious note, I also came to terms with the emptiness I had inside for the one part of my life which has never felt fully satisfied- the lonely feeling of disconnect from my family.

As with these entire last four months- my perspective has been "Don't just have an idea: DO an idea."

So what does a person who hasn't seen their father's side of the family in seven years do about this? She finds some of them on Facebook, talks a tad, buys a plane ticket and goes back to Ohio for the first time since her Grandmother died. I was able to visit back in October, and it was the happiest I've been in a long time. The plain ticket was by far a superior purchase than anything I have ever paid for in my life. Nothing trumps love. Nothing.

Autumn... blurred by.

Between the undestinct end to the summer, my trip to the buckeye state, my amazing twenty-first birthday, halloween, and two months of not having hot water in my appartment... I just wake up with a dry throat, bundled in my cacoon of blankets almost wondering how I got there. Wondering how Thanksgiving is this week, which means Christmas is like a month away, which means it's already almost a new year...

..which brings me back to the most prominant conumdrum I write about. Where did the time go?

(an idiotic question to ask.. since it IS the most consistant thing that exists)

So much more has gone on that I wont even type about now.. and I prefer it that way. It's been nice to step away from technology, the internet, and even my cell phone somewhat. Spending time doing things, and seeing people, and talking in person, sharing laughter, sharing the constantly fleeting time... That's love.

Let's see what happens this winter, yeah?