The new year approaches.. and even though, technically, the only thing that changes is the calander date on January 1st.. it feels like a mental stamp. I always make a resolution.. one that's feasable. This year's is upgrading my life.
It's my mental note of accending beyond some of the immaturity I have allowed to linger in my youth... It's being more organized, budgeting better, and not looking back. I'm even upgrading my relationships. Friends are evaluated and appreciated- no more lying to myself that anyone is more significant than what they are... and any of my rondevoux, are no more. A little self control will go a long way. After a year and a half of being single now, I think I'm ready to get into a new relationship- with zero candidates as of right now. All the same.. no need to let my baggage drag into the new year..
I just want to run away from it, and toward something else.
Be happy :)
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
"..what do you believe?"
We are in the thick of the holiday season here in the United States. It's supposed to be a time of joy, community love, sharing, sympathy, forgiveness, and fun.. But as with many traditions that start out as a good idea, they somehow get skewed over the years- like a global "telephone game". So Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Birthdays... are all now economically driven- over-capitalized affairs.
And we still love them.
While many cultures celebrate various events- genreally families even add their own variations in. Thanksgiving became my favorite holiday over the years. It wasn't just the food that made it enjoyable.. My blood relatives were always far away- we never really spent holidays together. So, it was in the community which I grew up in that I developed close ties- my extended family.. and for Thanksgiving, more so than the other holidays, it seemed more appropriate for friends and families alike to spend that time together. The entire Highschool football team, it seemed- would play the annual game against our rival team, then return to go house hopping all over town. Friends who didn't have particularly good relationships with their parents would find themselves at my table, and I was always welcome to drop by others. It wasn't the misprecieved celebration of an arrogant historical moment between the hospitality of the Native Americans and the origional Immigrants- no.. I enjoy the holiday spirit, and the idea that everyone can be thankful for what they have... instead of always being bombarded with advertiements and messages telling them to be otherwise dissatisfied with their lives.
Valentines Day.. it is oh so beautiful to celebrate love. Love has inspired poems, books, and babies.. and could probably solve the world's problems if people were so compassionate as to accept it as much as they strive to give it. But unfortunitally, the world is not such a place to foster the delicate emotion on such a scale.. and it is outragiously belittled to be sold as heart shaped everything, bad chocolate with cheap sparkling wine and marked up red roses. Yep, apparently it isn't enough to actually care about someone unconditionally.. sparkly things are required... every year. Or not.. I'd be happy with a smile, a kiss, and some sincerity.. or even romantic love letters like St.Valentine origionally wrote to his true love from the confinds of his jail cell. There's always something special about a handwritten letter- especially in today's digial world. (They don't even teach children to write in script anymore! It's going to be like a foreign language when our generation is elderly... but that viewpoint is a discussion for another day.)
Mother's and Father's Days........ appreciate them everyday, how bout?
and I can't even talk about Christmas.. we all know the mangled mess that tradition has become between the religious symbolism and St.Nicholas adaptation- to a glorious mess of foiled gift wrap, fake trees, and crowded shopping malls.
Actually, this year I even put a twist on my gift giving techniques. It's true- I don't affiliate myself with any religion. The holiday celebrations are more out of habbit than anything else. But I am adimant in my belief that giving gifts should not require an occasion.. and furthermore, should never feel like an obligation. This even includes birthdays in my mind. When I am out and about, if I see something that I know a person would enjoy.. I get it and give it to them. Not only does this give me more gratification.. but the person recieving it is usually that much more excited. ...how many gifts have you gotten over the years from people who don't know you very well, or you could tell just grabbed something last minute, just to get it... and it leaves you with a question mark hanging over your head- mind reeling, "OMG WHAT IS THAT? WHY WOULD ANYONE BUY THIS?" ...that scenario- totally avoidable in my book. Plus, as an added bonus- you don't feel financial stress. Do something nice for people you REALLY care about, when you can- and when your wallet can. *shrug*
Back to my twist- I created a puzzle- to make the process more fun, for me at least. I got a bunch of really awesome stuff over the course of the last few months, nothing I wouldn't gladly buy for myself- and gave the "gift sets" names like: "Be Asian." "Be his sunshine." ..and "Be knocked out." All the names related to the gifts... but don't give away the surprise. So as my puzzle recipiants solved the puzzle, they could get dibbs on whatever gift title appealed most to them... maybe I'm cheesy and lame.. but since it's the time of year people DO exchange gifts, I wanted to switch it up for my own mentallity's sake..
Going back to the comment I made about not affiliating myself with a religion- I feel like more and more people are in my boat. Politicians and religious advocates have hosted statements such as, "a Godless nation", "a land of loose morals and values", "...falling apart".
What's falling apart exaclty? Just becasue I don't believe that the writing in The Holy Bible, The Quaran, The Torrah, or any other manuscript are supreme and just- does not mean I philander the streets with vulgar behavior and dishonesty. I just like to found my personal beliefs on reason. Just as I've said over and over again... I like things to make sense. If any religion made sense to me (though, I am not affluent with the intricacies of all religions).. I'm sure I'd be open to giving it a go. Til then- I'm so neutral, beige looks bold... by affiliation anyway. I do have my own theories about creation and all that jazz.
Well, I guess to sum this up- I'll make mention of New Years. It is the global celebration that recognises the passage of time. Every year brings memories, progress, faiure.. and hope that the next year might be better. I ook forward to the new year. It's a hepful marker in the chroneology of making persona changes to better myself.
What's your resoution?
And we still love them.
While many cultures celebrate various events- genreally families even add their own variations in. Thanksgiving became my favorite holiday over the years. It wasn't just the food that made it enjoyable.. My blood relatives were always far away- we never really spent holidays together. So, it was in the community which I grew up in that I developed close ties- my extended family.. and for Thanksgiving, more so than the other holidays, it seemed more appropriate for friends and families alike to spend that time together. The entire Highschool football team, it seemed- would play the annual game against our rival team, then return to go house hopping all over town. Friends who didn't have particularly good relationships with their parents would find themselves at my table, and I was always welcome to drop by others. It wasn't the misprecieved celebration of an arrogant historical moment between the hospitality of the Native Americans and the origional Immigrants- no.. I enjoy the holiday spirit, and the idea that everyone can be thankful for what they have... instead of always being bombarded with advertiements and messages telling them to be otherwise dissatisfied with their lives.
Valentines Day.. it is oh so beautiful to celebrate love. Love has inspired poems, books, and babies.. and could probably solve the world's problems if people were so compassionate as to accept it as much as they strive to give it. But unfortunitally, the world is not such a place to foster the delicate emotion on such a scale.. and it is outragiously belittled to be sold as heart shaped everything, bad chocolate with cheap sparkling wine and marked up red roses. Yep, apparently it isn't enough to actually care about someone unconditionally.. sparkly things are required... every year. Or not.. I'd be happy with a smile, a kiss, and some sincerity.. or even romantic love letters like St.Valentine origionally wrote to his true love from the confinds of his jail cell. There's always something special about a handwritten letter- especially in today's digial world. (They don't even teach children to write in script anymore! It's going to be like a foreign language when our generation is elderly... but that viewpoint is a discussion for another day.)
Mother's and Father's Days........ appreciate them everyday, how bout?
and I can't even talk about Christmas.. we all know the mangled mess that tradition has become between the religious symbolism and St.Nicholas adaptation- to a glorious mess of foiled gift wrap, fake trees, and crowded shopping malls.
Actually, this year I even put a twist on my gift giving techniques. It's true- I don't affiliate myself with any religion. The holiday celebrations are more out of habbit than anything else. But I am adimant in my belief that giving gifts should not require an occasion.. and furthermore, should never feel like an obligation. This even includes birthdays in my mind. When I am out and about, if I see something that I know a person would enjoy.. I get it and give it to them. Not only does this give me more gratification.. but the person recieving it is usually that much more excited. ...how many gifts have you gotten over the years from people who don't know you very well, or you could tell just grabbed something last minute, just to get it... and it leaves you with a question mark hanging over your head- mind reeling, "OMG WHAT IS THAT? WHY WOULD ANYONE BUY THIS?" ...that scenario- totally avoidable in my book. Plus, as an added bonus- you don't feel financial stress. Do something nice for people you REALLY care about, when you can- and when your wallet can. *shrug*
Back to my twist- I created a puzzle- to make the process more fun, for me at least. I got a bunch of really awesome stuff over the course of the last few months, nothing I wouldn't gladly buy for myself- and gave the "gift sets" names like: "Be Asian." "Be his sunshine." ..and "Be knocked out." All the names related to the gifts... but don't give away the surprise. So as my puzzle recipiants solved the puzzle, they could get dibbs on whatever gift title appealed most to them... maybe I'm cheesy and lame.. but since it's the time of year people DO exchange gifts, I wanted to switch it up for my own mentallity's sake..
Going back to the comment I made about not affiliating myself with a religion- I feel like more and more people are in my boat. Politicians and religious advocates have hosted statements such as, "a Godless nation", "a land of loose morals and values", "...falling apart".
What's falling apart exaclty? Just becasue I don't believe that the writing in The Holy Bible, The Quaran, The Torrah, or any other manuscript are supreme and just- does not mean I philander the streets with vulgar behavior and dishonesty. I just like to found my personal beliefs on reason. Just as I've said over and over again... I like things to make sense. If any religion made sense to me (though, I am not affluent with the intricacies of all religions).. I'm sure I'd be open to giving it a go. Til then- I'm so neutral, beige looks bold... by affiliation anyway. I do have my own theories about creation and all that jazz.
Well, I guess to sum this up- I'll make mention of New Years. It is the global celebration that recognises the passage of time. Every year brings memories, progress, faiure.. and hope that the next year might be better. I ook forward to the new year. It's a hepful marker in the chroneology of making persona changes to better myself.
What's your resoution?
Friday, December 17, 2010
standing on solid ground?
I remember breaking my arm in the fifth grade. I had been skiiing a Big Boulder with my sister and some family friends of ours when physics defeated me- resulting in a radial split. The doctor had to rebreak my arm to set the bone straight. The cast was applied, my wrist bent at a fourty-five degree angle.
After the bone had healed enough for the cast to be removed, I remember the the total conflict and weakness I experienced. My skin was thin, flaky, and yellowed from lack of sunlight. The muscles were weak and shrunken from inactivity. To top it off, no matter how much I willed my wrist and fingers to move within their flexibility, they simly would not respond accordingly- they couldn't beacuse the nerves needed to wake up.. a stuggle of a proccess.
Why am i mentioning this injury? It didn't kill or traumatize me- a fairly common occurance..
...because I wanted to talk about how the planet must feel like a handicapped veteran.
Think about this. We as a species alter the natural habbitat beyond what any other animal does to comfortably live. Sure everyone is becomming more concious about their carbon footprint, more sensitive to our skies, the ozone, and global warming alike. But with all this looking up, I feel everyone has forgotten to look down.
How much of the earths surface is covered in concrete at this point?
Abandoned parking lots, roadways, foundations of buildings, landing strips and so on... and it isn't like we ever retract the alterations we've made once we've decided something is going to exist on that particular patch of surface. And what does this do? It creates a "cast" on the surface of the earth. It blocks sunshine and keeps out the rain and snowmelt which it is so very thirsty for.
And people wonder why buildings and roadways have collapses here and there. Let me make mention of what is hapening beneath your feet. There are underground waterways along with dirt. It's part of the complex drainage system nature provides. When we stop the moisture from penetrating the surface, over a period of time the underground waterway will start to "dry up", leaving a larger pocket of air, rather than a comfortable measure of water ressure which helps maintain the surface. So the weight of the surface can sometimes collapse in on these various pockets of air, causing a slight shift to the ground on which we walk and build.
I live in a city, and frequent others (which seem to be getting larger). I am not saying that our systems of habbitating are completely wrong, but they are somewhat unreasonable as we try to micro-manage the ecosystem.. which I'm pretty sure worked perfectly fine until we decided to run amuck all over it. Even farmland is generally sprayed with pesticides- affecting the insect, animal, and plantlife- poisioning the ground that is beautifully exposed.
I can't even voice a possible solution to help our broken planet.. because like when I had my cast removed- it is easy to imagine that the thirsty ground beneath our abandoned shopping malls and highways is dry and weak. One of the reasons floods are commonplace after the dry season in Africa, is simply because it is difficult for the ground to absorb the water it is exposed to after so long a time without.
In the same way we are making advances in reducing pollution, conserving energy, and utilizing green roofs, and natural energy souces like wind and solar.. I hope we are also looking ro regulate the concrete armor we are bestowing upon the green and blue face of this world.
After the bone had healed enough for the cast to be removed, I remember the the total conflict and weakness I experienced. My skin was thin, flaky, and yellowed from lack of sunlight. The muscles were weak and shrunken from inactivity. To top it off, no matter how much I willed my wrist and fingers to move within their flexibility, they simly would not respond accordingly- they couldn't beacuse the nerves needed to wake up.. a stuggle of a proccess.
Why am i mentioning this injury? It didn't kill or traumatize me- a fairly common occurance..
...because I wanted to talk about how the planet must feel like a handicapped veteran.
Think about this. We as a species alter the natural habbitat beyond what any other animal does to comfortably live. Sure everyone is becomming more concious about their carbon footprint, more sensitive to our skies, the ozone, and global warming alike. But with all this looking up, I feel everyone has forgotten to look down.
How much of the earths surface is covered in concrete at this point?
Abandoned parking lots, roadways, foundations of buildings, landing strips and so on... and it isn't like we ever retract the alterations we've made once we've decided something is going to exist on that particular patch of surface. And what does this do? It creates a "cast" on the surface of the earth. It blocks sunshine and keeps out the rain and snowmelt which it is so very thirsty for.
And people wonder why buildings and roadways have collapses here and there. Let me make mention of what is hapening beneath your feet. There are underground waterways along with dirt. It's part of the complex drainage system nature provides. When we stop the moisture from penetrating the surface, over a period of time the underground waterway will start to "dry up", leaving a larger pocket of air, rather than a comfortable measure of water ressure which helps maintain the surface. So the weight of the surface can sometimes collapse in on these various pockets of air, causing a slight shift to the ground on which we walk and build.
I live in a city, and frequent others (which seem to be getting larger). I am not saying that our systems of habbitating are completely wrong, but they are somewhat unreasonable as we try to micro-manage the ecosystem.. which I'm pretty sure worked perfectly fine until we decided to run amuck all over it. Even farmland is generally sprayed with pesticides- affecting the insect, animal, and plantlife- poisioning the ground that is beautifully exposed.
I can't even voice a possible solution to help our broken planet.. because like when I had my cast removed- it is easy to imagine that the thirsty ground beneath our abandoned shopping malls and highways is dry and weak. One of the reasons floods are commonplace after the dry season in Africa, is simply because it is difficult for the ground to absorb the water it is exposed to after so long a time without.
In the same way we are making advances in reducing pollution, conserving energy, and utilizing green roofs, and natural energy souces like wind and solar.. I hope we are also looking ro regulate the concrete armor we are bestowing upon the green and blue face of this world.
Monday, December 6, 2010
"Sorry.."
I've been noticing it more and more over the last few days, not that it's by any means a new behavior.. I was opening the door to leave the locker room and head to work when another woman, whom was outside of the door on the other side, and about to open the very same door whose knob was grasped in my fingertips- she said, "Sorry," as we both continued on toward our respective destinations.
Sure, I know that in our western culture, it is considered courteous to acknoledge others as we interact. A hand-wave to the safe driver.. a head nod or smile upon eye contact with someone familiar.. a held door- and other pretty general non-verbal conoduct usually makes sense to me.
"Sorry." ...Sorry for what exactly?
I don't follow, and even I am guilty of this verbal tendency. It is inappropriated so often that the apologetic nature of the word is practically left invalidated.
examples:
"I'm sorry, but that bitch totally deserved to fail."
(maybe she did.. but you aren't sorry to admit that... no guilt or remorse)
Two people walking toward one another are faced with the studder step, not sure wether to shift right or left to avoid collision. "Sorry."
(OR.."excuse me".. "pardon" perhaps?.... Both people were equally enrought somewhere. unless shoving was involved of course, it hardly seems needed)
ect.
I guess I really honed in on this since I was sick this past week. I was bedridden for three straight days and without energy to exert, I wound up watching the Korean drama "Bad Boy". It carries the familiar themes of romance, confusion, pots of revenge, family, and monetary status. So seventeen hour-long episodes later, and my mind is reeling in subtitles and eastern culture- where it seems people have more pride and values than Americans do.
Some of their passing phrases were: "Work hard." "Thank you." "How fortunite for you." "This will come of use" "Take care."
It is true, being polite is one thing- but take a week and try to listen for all the misused "I'm sorry"s exchanged among your area. People acknowlege that "I love.." and "I hate" are strong terms, flung too loosely from the lips of many.. but I really think they do not stand as a pair in that category.
In any case.. if it's beyond your control- don't apologise.
If it's another instance.. try to use the correct terminology.
If everyone gets comfortable jsut putting their own meaning on words and phrases, we will lose the meaning of everything to chaotic babble.
Or maybe it's just me.. and I find your wasted time reading this unfortunate. (but I'm not sorry for writing it, lol)
Sure, I know that in our western culture, it is considered courteous to acknoledge others as we interact. A hand-wave to the safe driver.. a head nod or smile upon eye contact with someone familiar.. a held door- and other pretty general non-verbal conoduct usually makes sense to me.
"Sorry." ...Sorry for what exactly?
I don't follow, and even I am guilty of this verbal tendency. It is inappropriated so often that the apologetic nature of the word is practically left invalidated.
examples:
"I'm sorry, but that bitch totally deserved to fail."
(maybe she did.. but you aren't sorry to admit that... no guilt or remorse)
Two people walking toward one another are faced with the studder step, not sure wether to shift right or left to avoid collision. "Sorry."
(OR.."excuse me".. "pardon" perhaps?.... Both people were equally enrought somewhere. unless shoving was involved of course, it hardly seems needed)
ect.
I guess I really honed in on this since I was sick this past week. I was bedridden for three straight days and without energy to exert, I wound up watching the Korean drama "Bad Boy". It carries the familiar themes of romance, confusion, pots of revenge, family, and monetary status. So seventeen hour-long episodes later, and my mind is reeling in subtitles and eastern culture- where it seems people have more pride and values than Americans do.
Some of their passing phrases were: "Work hard." "Thank you." "How fortunite for you." "This will come of use" "Take care."
It is true, being polite is one thing- but take a week and try to listen for all the misused "I'm sorry"s exchanged among your area. People acknowlege that "I love.." and "I hate" are strong terms, flung too loosely from the lips of many.. but I really think they do not stand as a pair in that category.
In any case.. if it's beyond your control- don't apologise.
If it's another instance.. try to use the correct terminology.
If everyone gets comfortable jsut putting their own meaning on words and phrases, we will lose the meaning of everything to chaotic babble.
Or maybe it's just me.. and I find your wasted time reading this unfortunate. (but I'm not sorry for writing it, lol)
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